The Colour Wheel
Dreams are made from colours, an eclectic riot of blue, red , pink and green cascading across your mind. Sometimes the colours merge into one and a new colour is formed, the colour of the mind. I see dreams in colour but some see dreams in black and white unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Colours are made from The Colour Wheel, a dramatic display of emotion, aesthetic and personality. The Colour Wheel is dangerous, a hypnotic presence that lures its admirers into another world, a world where hope is lost and sadness is the recipe of the day. I am a puppet and the colour wheel is my master.As I wander through a world of colour, I get flashbacks to the past, me as a child, me as a teenager and me as an adult, leaving behind the shadows of my past.
As children we see the world through different colours, see the world through rose-tinted glasses. Life was easier back then and our photos reflected that , wide smiles, grinning eyes, gasps of laughter. Now that we are adults we are burdened with responsibility and I wanted this photoshoot to be pensive and thoughtfully document the progression of adult life. As an adult I have much to be thankful for; I have a good degree, support from family and friends and above all my basic needs are met daily. There are thousands out there who are stuck in a rut, unable to progress because their options are limited. They may not have a steady support base, may lack the funds to live and are forced to survive on next to nothing. I want to be a voice for those who struggle to get themselves heard, whose hard work is ignored because they are not considered 'important' enough for the public eye. The voiceless need our help, it does not matter that I am a fashion blogger who should report on my product and that is it. I am not like that, I want to use fashion to highlight real world problems that are affecting our society today, I want to use my brand to help others, to show them that you should never give up. No matter what life throws at you never lose the will to live.
I use this photoshoot today to draw attention to the millions around us that are suffering from starvation, abuse and mistreatment. Without going into details, my childhood was not the best and for many years I was tormented by the demons of the past threatening to overcome me. I told myself that in order to help others you must give yourself the help needed to overcome the bullies who plague your very existence. In each of these photos I let go of the demons one by one, possessed by the need to drown them once and for all. With fashion comes the assumption that you are obsessed with materialism but I am the complete opposite. I see fashion as a medium through which I can help others, who do not have the confidence to speak out against the 'Colour Wheel'.
The Colour Wheel is a nickname I use for societies villains; Prime Ministers, bullies, criminals, the list could go on. For me (without mentioning names) there are several villains in my life that made my existence a living hell. Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep, too scared to fight back and save myself from ridicule and abuse. School never held many happy memories and I was glad to leave behind the ghosts of my fragmented past. I was never suicidal but I wasn't happy, even now I remember my childhood and shudder in discomfort. I remember being told that I would never amount to anything and was determined to prove everyone wrong, that no matter what path was forged for you, you can always make your own beginnings. I made my own beginning, I graduated and saw my whole life flash before me, saw the shadows of the past finally leave and let me be me... Ana De-Jesus.
Sometimes I used to think to myself is life really worth it? What is our purpose here? I know what my purpose is, I am here to represent the 'other'. The 'other' does not fit into the social norm, nor do they follow trends like mindless sheep. The other is unique, different and above all uses their traumatic life experiences to forge new beginnings.
With the theme of the 'other' in mind I wanted to create a photoshoot that not only shows me letting go of my demons but also an outfit that showcases the different aspects of my personality and how these traits differ from the social norm.
Choosing a location was an important part of creating this photoshoot. As an 'other' a tranquil space allows you to enjoy some quality alone time, away from societies hatred. In your own slice of paradise all is calm, all is right, without a hurtful murmur coming your way. Eel Pie Island is in Twickenham and is a private spot where many couples or runners come to, to leave behind their tension-filled life.
The aesthetic of the outfit was also a significant factor in choosing the location. I wanted an outfit that would both blend in and stand out from the location and Eel Pie was the perfect fit. With its stunning natural waterfront and hidden secret gardens the possibilities were endless. For my look I chose a floral jumpsuit inspired by the delicate beauty of a Japanese blossom tree from Missguided, maroon gold plated heeled sandals from Dorothy Perkins, my favourite Zara sleeved waistcoat, burgundy Asos hat and a Topshop slogan purse.
The floral jumpsuit was a delicate creation that represented my empathy for others, with soft fragrant blooms adorned in blue, green and orange. The 'maroon' showed an inbetween state, where the colour wheel is neither positive nor negative, a transcendental medium to express yourself through. The burgundy purse with its cheeky numeric slogan showed off my playful side whereas the floppy burgundy hat added a touch of riveria chic to the outfit.
The juxtaposition between delicacy and brashful youth is a typical feature associated with the 'other'. Both a 'victim of injustice' and a 'mischievous' prankster the 'other' is stigmatized for representing two sides of a coin. The other is multi-faceted and will use his or her flaws to make themselves a better person.
I may be different but at least I can use my 'difference' to help others who do not have the confidence to speak out. Your personal style determines who you are and do not let anyone forget that. Only you can fulfil your own destiny. Only you can release yourself from the lure of the puppet master 'The Colour Wheel'.
In a generation defined by technology I thought that the perfect photo to close this post was a selfie. We smile because we have something to live for, no matter what obstacles we encounter our freedom to live is what gets us through each day. I hope you enjoyed 'The Colour Wheel' and if any of my lovely springbots need someone to talk to I am always here with an open ear.
Much Love Springbots xox
Photography: Jumanna Khanom
Jumpsuit: Missguided (sold out)
Waistcoat: Zara (sold out)
Sandals: Dorothy Perkins (sold out)
Bag: Topshop (sold out)
Hat: Asos