Burgundy Ashes
Have you ever felt lost in an abyss of despair, crying out for love and affection? That abyss is corrupted by sin, deceit and malicious spirits threatening to overcome you and drag into the depths of a never-ending hell. The flames engulf you hungrily, the demons lap away at your sorrow and the spirits possess you until there is nothing left but burgundy ashes, a legacy of what you once was. Like a phoneix rising from the ashes you are reborn again and the burgundy ashes is your cloak, a cloak of strength and courage.
The inspiration behind this shoot was simple at first. I wanted to collaborate with my good friend and fashion blogger Nazifa Ali from Follower of Fashion to create a styleover. A styleover is where you give the other blogger a makeover and dress them in an outfit that represents their own style aesthetic and vice versa. The more we explored this concept the more complex the ideas became. For those of you who know me or have read my other posts you will know that I am social advocate who highlights issues such as abuse, trauma and other issues concerning social justice. My own personal experiences combined with the slow detoriation of humanity has led me to create powerful photoshoots that not only critique fashion but the social, political and economical issues surrounding the industry.
As Nazifa is a fashion and buisness student I wanted to combine the drive to succeed with the empathy that I have for social outcasts, who are at a disadvantage in society.
We are both fighters, driven by two different needs but have been brought together to show the world what we are capable of, that we are not just a nobody but a somebody. In school Nazifa was characterized as the 'quiet one' whereas I was seen as a loser plain and simple. I had bushy eyebrows, a big nose, braces, a mustache and messy hair and was relentlessly teased for the way I looked. Even my 'supposed' friends would make fun of me, laughing at me every time I entered the room. The humiliation that I felt cannot be described, I used to dread going to school and P.E was the worst. My heart would pound relentlessly threatening to break out of my chest as the teacher would ask us to get into pairs and I would be left until last, tears threatening to brim. Even before secondary school I was met with adversity told that I was too ugly to be alive, cuts and bruises being the order of the day. So much of my past is framed by despair, tears and incessant torture but I learned to use it as a paving stone for the future. Here is my stone and here is my mark because we proved everyone wrong... never judge a book by its cover because that book will sell more sales than you ever will.
Standing here is a 5ft 5 tower of strength, you may threaten to throw me overboard but sticks and stones nor words can ever break me. I stand here before you today not broken into submission but a warrior in the making. The muted colours that clothe my back represent the darkness that threatens to engulf me and the burgundy ashes that I have fashioned into a cloak to keep me safe is the small glimmer of hope in the barbaric wilderness.
No matter what life throws at you never let it break you, if the so-called leaders of society see you defeated they will revel in their victory and all will be lost in the burgundy sea of ashes. I want to be an inspiration, I want to inspire those who have felt unloved, unwanted and too afraid to be visible to speak up and join me in the fight against adversity. Fight for your rights and fight for justice.
But this post is more than a social commentary on the corruption of our state it is an exploration of how fashion saved me from a life of ruin. To me fashion is a medium through which i can feel good about myself, people compliment me on my personal style and that feels more genuine than someone telling me I am beautiful. I have never felt wholly beautiful but when I discovered fashion it was like a light switched on and told me that fashion is my calling. It was through that calling that I began to see the good in myself.
I may not be a conventional beauty but I am interesting and I have learnt to accept that. Learn to accept your flaws and prove all the bullies wrong. I may be insecure but at least I do not seek to deliberately hurt others with my poisonous words, cut through skin like a ruthless warrior and drain all positivity out of this world. I am the type of person who wants to be loved but is met with knifed words, the type of person that helps others but gets nothing in return, the girl with the scar to remind her of a past best forgotten.
Although the outfit was chosen for me by Nazifa the colours became symbolic of my past. Burgundy the colour of dried blood, black equalled the negative darkness trailing beneath me like shackles while the khaki is a foreign legacy that I must choose to chase away the demons once and for all. People ask me why words mean so much to me and I say because it is the only way that I will ever get heard. Without a voice I am voiceless and only the power of the written word can save me from obscurity.
If my voice, if my words remain ignored then the power of my storytelling can be narrated through these pictures. Each picture shows resilience, strength and an undeniable need to be treated as what I am a warrior. I do not say this lightly some see fashion as superficial, but to me fashion is spiritual it helps me live. I want to show people that you can use fashion to make a difference, wear your clothes with pride and never forget the real you. You are a trooper and don't let anyone take that away from you.
This outfit is not just a spiritual outlet for me to memoralize my legacy but a change in artistic direction. If you could describe my personal style it would be characterized by a love of floral print and this khaki co-ord is a far cry from my usual taste. I accept the possibility of change and welcome it into my open arms.With new outfits comes new beginnings and this is my time to shine.
The aesthetic of this look is synonymous with Nazifa's personal style:sleek, streamlined wear in a muted neutral palate. The ruching made me feminine and gave me the illusion of having curves, when I have an androgynous body shape. I used to get teased a lot for looking so masculine and with my slim figure I was often told that I looked 'anorexic'. I take offense to that, there are people out there who do suffer with anorexia and it s not something to joke about. I know friends that have suffered from this harrowing illness and it is not something that should be taken lightly.
Just because you do not have the 'perfect figure' does not mean that you cannot wear a certain top, dress or skirt. Don't let society dictate what you can and can't do. I have lost count of how many times I have been told not to wear something because I am too slim or to quote 'have no figure to speak of' and frankly I couldn't care less. I am tired of being body shamed, we should all embrace being body beautiful and set a moment of change.
The two-piece was 'sexy' and made me feel more womanly with its ruched bodycon tailoring. The khaki hue is not normally a hue I would equate with sexiness but it made me feel very 70's glamour, encased in silky satin fabric. All the other items are my own as I wanted to stay true to my signature look even when channelling or borrowing elements from another persons aesthetic. My beloved waistcoat added an edgy sihlouette and the off-beat layering created a multi-faceted approach to putting together an outfit. With the monochrome bag and the cat-eye sunglasses the 70's streamlined sex kitten look created a cool, effortless look that made me feel more confident in myself as a person.
Now I smile not because I have to but because I want to embrace the person I have become. I am so proud of myself for what I have achieved and I hope that have inspired my fans to be true to themselves.
Much Love Springbots xox
Photography-Nazifa Ali
Co-ord-Miss Pap
Sunglasses- Sheinside
Hat-Asos
Heels-Ebay
Bracelet-Mink and Stone