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April Recap

April has been full of ups and downs, from winning 'Best British Blogger' to running out of money it has been a whirlwind of a month. But I know that one thing is for certain, despite all my trials and tribulations the hard work is starting to pay off and I am reaping the awards. It has made me feel so proud that I can stand here and show how far I have come in eight months; I have proved everyone of you haters wrong and like it or lump it I am going places. This month I have worked with prestigious brands including House of Fraser and Chi Chi London, attended award ceremonies and become brand ambassadors for a series of brands including Graze. One thing is for certain I could focus on the negatives but the fact is that despite the obstacles I faced this month I feel stronger than ever.

April 4th F***king Up

I have f***ed up so many times and I am bound to f**k up again but I wish that people could be as forgiving as I am. I have lost count of how many times I have forgiven someone only for me to mess up and be in the doghouse. This particular friend of mine (if I can call her that anymore) says she still wants to be friends with me but lies about working when I ask to meet up and tells me she is 'so worried about me' but shows behavior of not caring. I know I have new friends now but do they know me as much as the others knew me and the answer is no they don't.

I have been hurt to the point that I can no longer trust someone as fully as I did before, I don't tell people when I am sick because I am afraid I will be called a drama queen, I keep my problems to myself because I feel selfish if I burden someone with my problems and I say I am ok when I am clearly not.

I have made it no secret that I have been attacked by the travel bug and have a deep case of wanderlust that only shopping can sate. Dreaming of far flung sun drenched locations and tropical paradises are all part of a Londoners daily daydream and I wish I could escape the rain spattered pavements and step into a world where I can detoxify my reality. The trees would be swaying in the breeze, gently tapping me on the shoulder while the sea waves pool at my feet, a tingling sensation. I would run through fearsome jungles, a chorus of parrots my only companions and dive into the Mediterranean tropics, at one with the rainbow of fishes huddling nearby. I would shield my eyes from the blazing glory of the pyramids and trudge through the burning sand, awaiting an oasis to bathe in. To me travel is the epitome of 'living life to the full', no cultural experience is the same and it allows you to transcend multiple boundaries without losing sight of self.

April 7th Firmoo Review

Out of frugality came Firmoo, the most popular discounted online eye-wear brand in the United States. After years of expertise in the optical industry, the founders of Firmoo conducted a survey to evaluate the efficiency of the optical industry in the US to glean what changes the optical industry needed to target its consumers more effectively. One of the predominant inefficiencies that Firmoo found was that there was a divide between retail costs and consumers costs which left customers paying $100's when retailers made them for significantly less money. With customers being pushed into buying prescription glasses and sunglasses because of its 'label' Firmoo understood that a change needed to be made and set up an online optical store bypassing expenses 'incurred in the brick and mortar' stores. Creating a 'harmonious' collaboration between optical experts direct manufacturers and their overseas laboratories, Firmoo offers their customers affordable eye-wear.

Growing up I would feel isolated, in friendships I was always what you would call the third wheel and it f***ing sucked. I forced to grimace my way through an empty smile and shrug away the bitter jealous tears as 'friends' would leave me behind like the loser they thought I was. I had to pretend I was happy to be sidelined and quite often be the last person to be chosen for a team, be left out when teachers asked you to get into pairs and be humiliated as I was forced to sit at the end of the table with all my so called friends ignoring me because I wasn't cool enough to sit with. It happened in relationships too, sometimes I was second to drugs while other times I was just a 'body' to be used for male satisfaction and it sucked. Left and hung to dry I would be forced to suffer the same abuse and misfortune that came with feeling and being second best. Because that is what second best is, it is a state of mind and quite often it is psychological.

April 12th March Recap

March was one of the hardest months for me, I struggled to keep afloat and the promise of breaking my blogging targets failed at the last hurdle. March started off strong and I was confident that it was going to be the best month so far and it was in some ways. I was approached by big brands and given more sponsored posts than the previous months but my health was on the decline once again. I started off with weeks to spare after scheduling masses of posts in advance but then in the last two weeks of March everything fell apart. I was faced with some personal issues that needed addressing including my health, living arrangement and workload and had a huge surge in the amount of events, work and press I needed to write about and attend. It was intense.

Celebrating womanhood and championing who I am as a female has always been a huge part of my agenda and part of that ethos stems from following blogs at the age of 15. I was at that precocious age where I was neither adult nor fully teen and through blogs I discovered Chi Chi London. Suddenly the evolution of my personal style made perfect sense;There was the bodycon dress of the mid 2000's that was inspired by Victoria Beckham as Posh Spice which I fell in love with, the gauzy midi dresses inspired by 50's Hollywood starlets and of course my favourite trend of all- The Floral Print.The floral trend is one of the most ubiquitous motifs in fashion and is synonymous with the iconography of 'true Chi Chi' style.

14th April Floatworks

I have always wanted to be a mermaid, and since I was a little girl I craved the tranquil solace of the open sea, where I would be free to be alone with the intensity of my thoughts and seek the healing powers of the seas peaceful energy. Not much has changed since and it is through swimming that I learnt to be aware of the strength I possessed in me to overcome any obstacle that was thrown my way. That being said it is not just swimming that makes me feel more peaceful but the core essence of H20 itself. 60% of our bodies are made up of water and in that 60% is an overwhelming need to leave the mundane normality of land behind and be at one with myself and H20. In the past swimming ( both in the sea and pool) has helped me re-energize but when it came to de-stressing I had not found a method of escape until now. Queue Floatworks, a high specification float centre situated in ST George's Wharf that uses I-sopod flotation tanks to relax and refuel the body and mind.

I want a future where I can help others in need and carve out the life that I have always dreamed of. I want to touch rare silk and not recoil at the price, the scent of a thousand perfumes infiltrating the air. I want to know how the other half lives, with their diamond Rolex watches sipping on daiquiri's by the poolside, the rich scent of salt water grazing in the depths of the blazing continental sun. Still dreams are called dreams for a reason and thanks to Xupes I see a future that blazes in gold.

The ultimate connoisseur of 'Bridal, Occasion and Formal Wear', Debenhams is a leading international brand founded by William Hall in 1778. A mix of international and British orientated pieces make up Debenhams showstopping bridal collections and it is their unique celebration of British patriotism infused with cutting edge international trends that makes Debenhams the ideal venue to shop wedding, bridesmaids and guests dresses as well as accessories that will transform you into a budding bloom.

Additional Note I only went and freaking won didn't I?! You are now looking at Debenhams and Uk Blog Awards 'Best British' Blogger and I could not be any happier.

I am used to being called names or being stereotyped because that is all part of life. But how does it make me negative when I defend myself and others from your biting words? You can’t handle the simple truth and the truth is that you are bitter and jealous. Yes I said it, you are jealous; why else would you pick on someone you don’t know? Why else would you scapegoat me for your own actions and leave me to hang in the shadows. Despite the posts that I write I am actually a very positive person. You think that I am complaining or trying to get attention because of the topics that I write? You couldn’t be any further from the truth because if you took the time to know me you would realize that I am trying to highlight important issues. Sure I use photoshoots to speak my mind but what the f**k is wrong with that? What is wrong with using visuals to speak my mind, when the words I have written are being ignored?

Far, Far away in a secret castle lies Alexi's jewels, guarded fiercely by its protectors. The jewels are so precious that they have been kept under wraps until now and Alexi's secret stash has been sold to the public. Meet the name on everyone lips 'Alexi London'.Run by CEO Jenny Wood the unusual mix of 'minimalist' and statement pieces has created a stellar demand for bloggers to be seen in Alexi London's jewels and it is easy to see why. With its effortless merger between 'day' and 'night' jewels and timeless design Alexi London is a jewellery brand that does not take any prisoners.

What if we were all an object of one persons imagination and the realities that we believed we were living were just an excerpt from the Truman show. Would that necessarily be a bad thing to be living a fantasy that belonged to someone else? Not according to Chatty Feet, the sock company who believes that taking on the identities of others is healthy and beneficial to our wellbeing and sanity. We become bored of our own lives and transgress our own identities to take on the roles of others and it is liberating. Suddenly we are kings and queens marching through scenes of centuries past, we are cosplay characters fighting our own battles and bowing before the lord of the universe.

22nd April PG Beauty Event

The scene was set like something out of a James Bond Movie; sumptuous chandeliers hung from high beamed ceilings while the gluttonous gleam of embellished staircases led us into a world of pure decadence. Tiptoeing through the glamorous maze of crystal vases, off-the-wall art installations and Parisian decor the lead up to PG's Beauty Event was far from anti-climatic. Set in a luxurious 1865 building, Piccadilly Circus's Cafe Royal oozes architectural intelligence with a supreme mix of contemporary design and classical architecture. Halfway between 'old school' opulence and modern tech, the high-tech spa and the gilded Louis XIV restaurant and cocktail bar met in perfect harmony. But I digress, the sumptuous backdrop to PG's Beauty Event for journalists and press was like walking into a forbidden dream. As I stepped out of my dream-like haze and snapped into reality, I realized that my fantasy was real.

During my digital detox I became frustrated and at times even angry; I realized that I was looking at the markings of a social media addict. I was having to use my notepad to jot ideas down and write up posts without being able to use the internet and it was both liberating and terrifying. It was liberating because I remembered my 13 year old self and how I had regressed back to the state because I was coming up with my own ideas, without resorting to check the internet for valid sources. At the same time as a blogger it makes it very difficult to go without the internet and not be scared of the 'unknown'.

Since I was a young girl my biggest vice was spending money because it made me feel empowered and allowed me to escape my personal problems. From clothes to eating out I would swipe my card without a care in the world only to come crashing back to reality when my money ran out. Ever since I became a blogger I have had periods where I have spent a lot of money one week only to go on a hiatus the week after. I just don't know what to do, I have so many commitments yet not enough funds to stick to the commitments and I feel bad. There are people relying on me but what can I do if I don't know when my next pay cheque is coming in?

House of Fraser is the gift that keeps on giving; not satisfied with launching incredible ready to wear catwalk collections, the legendary retail multi-brand has now extended its reign to becoming a bag maestro with over 600 new bags for its Spring/Summer 2016 range. From pale ice blue cross body's to designer leather totes House of Fraser has a bag to suit every occasion. Previously I had worked with House of Fraser last autumn [ Read HERE] so when I was asked to 'front' their Spring/Summer 2016 campaign it was a no brainer that I would say yes.House of Fraser is the epitome of hybrid design ; infusing classic elegance with street style cool the Spring/Summer 2016 campaign is inspired by colourful minimalism.

Top 5 Posts

1.F***ing Up

2. Being Second Best

3. Floatworks

4. A Letter To My Haters

5. Why Bloggers Need A Digital Detox

Top 5 Instagram Posts

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What was your favourite post this month?

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